Fuck. I miss you so much. I love you.

foxhounders:

ppl who dont even like shakespeare: WOW how DARE you alter the original text these are CLASSICS have you no RESPECT, going around DESECRATING these sacred texts in the name of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!!!!!!!

people who love shakespeare: im going to stage a production of hamlet where all the actors are dogs

dailylifewithchronicillness:

The thing about being sick is that you’re always in some type of mourning. You’re always grieving - for the life you once had and the life you could’ve had. I truly believe that in order to be happy, you have to accept your illnesses and resulting limitations. You don’t have to like that you’re sick. But you do have to accept that it’s a part of your life and adapt if you want to be happy.

It’s a process, though. It’s not a “one and done” type thing, where one day you wake up, accept this is your life and move on. It’s a JOURNEY. Because things change. Life changes, your health changes and your circumstance change. And with each change, you have to adapt, once again, to figure out how live while sick and accept this new normal. 

You never finish grieving. You never finish mourning. You just put some bandaids on your emotional wounds and do your best until something else rips you open again and you gotta bandaging them up again.

I don’t necessarily believe the famous adage: “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. I think we’re all strong, regardless, in spite of our individual circumstances and experiences. And I do think it’s incredibly brave and strong to move forward and keep trying after something bad happens. But I honestly believe that it all takes a little bit out of you. And I think that with every stressful event, you get a bit weaker, and a bit more defeated, and it gets harder to recoup.

And that’s okay. You don’t need to come out of every traumatic event, every flare, every terrifying surgery or hospital stay or scary sick moment as a “stronger person”. You’re allowed to admit that it’s hard and you’re exhausted and you feel beat down by what life has thrown at you. You’re allowed to say that your stress tolerance is lower and you’re having trouble coping. You’re allowed to say that you don’t feel strong but instead, you’re tired of grieving, you’re tired of forcing acceptance, and you’re tired of adapting.

Sometimes there’s nothing to be learned by “what didn’t kill you”. Sometimes the world is just a shitty place, and you’ve been dealt a shitty deck of cards. I’ve grown incredibly as a person as result of my experiences, but, I could’ve grown similarly without the pain it took to get there and the scars it left. 

Every day, I rebandage, and I move forward. Every day, I grieve a little bit, and I accept a little more. Every day, I am stronger, but I’m also weaker. I’m learning that that’s okay. Like I said, it’s a journey.